January 26, 2006 - 10:09 a.m.
Tuesday turned out to be way busy at work and I didn’t get a chance to get back to the last entry.
Lizzy’s science fair project was due today – she left everything to the last minute so she (and by proxy, I) was scrambling last night to get it all done. We finished at 10pm but I was pretty PO’d and she was pretty nonchalant about it. Needless to say I gave her a quick lecture on how to handle large projects and will give her a little more guidance tonight. Now, it’s not that I didn’t leave these types of things to the last minute – I did. But I hope that she will learn to do better. This isn’t the first time she was scrambling at the last minute to get something done. Earlier this year there was a night she was up until Midnight finishing an English project that she left to the last minute. I don’t know what the right combination of parental support/nudges are in this situation. Should I look over her shoulder constantly and help her learn how to manage a project or should I let her fail at something? I considered putting my foot down last night and sending her to bed and letting her suffer the consequences of being late but I just couldn’t do it. I get the feeling from the school administrators, teachers, Lizzy’s friends, other parents, etc. that EVERYTHING they do in school is so pivotal to their success in life. Why would a 7th grade science project even matter? I don’t remember being this pressured when I was in school – everyone just did what they were told because that’s how it was, not because they thought not doing it would cause them to end up on skid row. I’m not exaggerating, that’s how it feels as a parent, like my kid is destined for the welfare lines if she fails a class or gets a bad grade of the TAKS test. When did things go so wrong? Lizzy’s teachers last year – who were admittedly a little unbalanced – scared the kids telling them that they needed to start planning for college and that if they didn’t do well (grade wise) in 6th grade that they wouldn’t ever make it through high school much less college. What type of incentive is that? What’s the meaning of scaring kids into working hard. In my experience, it didn’t work, if anything Lizzy began to put much less effort into her school work. She lost that sense of pride that is normally associated with anything she does. She would constantly talk about the pressure to perform. The enormous pressure to perform!
I don’t know what the answer is to any of these questions – are the schools trying to scare kids straight? Do kids no longer perform well in school without some incentive. I did well in 6th grade because I wanted to not because I thought my entire life hinged on my grade on the spelling test. Never did I think that because I couldn’t spell “obvious” that I would be barred from college. Doomed to an undesirable life. I still can’t spell obvious without the help of spell check – maybe that’s why I’ve struggled to find my path…I seriously doubt that.
In the end I will probably supervise her next project a little more closely and not let it get out of hand by cutting off privileges till she meets her goals. The odd thing is that she is very good at setting goals and planning out when to do what – but she doesn’t follow her schedule! My goal would be to help her learn how to get a project done on time and give it 100% - when you do it at the last minute; it’s hard to give each facet of the project enough attention.
 |
 |
